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Tell Tale Signs of the "Cheating Spouse"
By C.R. "Bob" Brown, Master Investigator
The following is a guide to help you determine if your mate is cheating on you. After reading this list you may find there is some area of concern. Do not confront the cheater. This will only cause them to clean up their act and make it more difficult for you to catch them. You may not have enough proof to make your case. I would urge you to seek professional help.
At the beginning of an affair the mate that is cheating is more attentive to his spouse. This is due to guilt that the cheater may be feeling at the time.
After the affair has been going on for a while, the person cheating seems to find fault with the person he/she may be living with to try to justify the affair in their mind.
Cheating spouses may lose attention in the activities in the home. They don't show interest in the livelihood of you or the children that live in the home. Nor do they have any desires to do any fix-ups to the home (i.e. lawn care, house repairs, etc.).
Intuition (gut feeling) that something is not right usually is a sign you may have a cheating problem. "When in doubt, check them out."
Cheaters may have a change in sex life (i.e. more sex, less sex) as well as unexplained sexual requests.
The cheater has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home, especially the mate (e.g. "If he/she didn't act the way they do, well then maybe I wouldn't be doing the things I do").
Another sign is finances. If someone wants to play, they have to pay ... therefore keeping an eye on their monies (check stubs, bank account balances, credit card bills, etc.) would tell you whether they're spending more money than usual.
Grooming habits will change. Cheaters will be more attentive to their person (the way they dress, frequent bathing, physical fitness, grooming of their hair, switching of colognes, etc.).
Physical signs to look for to determine whether or not someone is having an affair: lipstick on the collar, odors of cologne/perfume on a shirt/blouse, checking underwear for secretion stains. You can also check their wallets and/or the glove compartments of their car to see if they left receipts, pieces of paper with phone numbers, addresses, condoms, etc.
You may want to monitor your spouse for two weeks. During this time keep track of the mileage on their car. Monitor the time they leave for work and the time they come home. Keep a calendar and note the times - this should help you establish a pattern. If your mate claims to be working late, check paycheck stubs to verify this overtime.
Be tuned in to home telephone calls when your mate has a tendency to whisper or gives a quick answer and immediately hangs up or when you answer the telephone and get an abrupt hang up.
Many cheaters use cellular telephones to communicate with their lovers. Should your mate have a cellular telephone you may want to get a detailed billing of the calls made from the cellular phone to determine whether a certain number has been frequently called. A good area to start looking is for the first number called when your mate first leaves for work and the same number called again right before they return home.
Female cheaters are more discreet in the selection of a lover. This is most likely because of their concern about sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Most females are looking for a longer-lasting relationship rather than a "one-night stand". In past years men were the aggressors; in society today, with the increase of women in the workforce, women have become equally aggressive. When a female is having an affair she tends to have more of a "glow" about her.
Other signs to pay attention to:
The unfaithfulness of a spouse is a heartbreaking situation. You need to know the truth. Your partner's illicit actions could endanger your health or even your life! This type of investigation is conducted with the utmost discretion. All evidence collected is admissible in a court of law.